In the Light - Laura Finley

Last Saturday...

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

...I walked into a music store (one of my favorite places on earth). I went with no intention of buying anything, but rather to glance at the beautifully perfect and expensive instruments that I have grown very fond of this year. For those of you that don't know, before the race I didn't really play at all or even really consider myself an actual musician. I wanted a break from music and singing on the race, but of course I "walked in freedom" from hiding and being insecure in music stuff... thank you World Race.

So, like I said... Last Saturday, I walked into a music store, and I found it... I found the beautiful new addition to my life that I have been waiting all year for. She's a Taylor, and if you don't realize what that means, just know that she's really top notch.

Needless to say, I am pretty excited. I am not that awesome at guitar yet, but I know that buying this guitar was a step of faith knowing that God is going to use me to do big things with music. I believe that He has something, and well, now I'm ready.

Also, I will say that I have started recording, and that makes me happy...

Romania Top Ten

Tue, 2 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Wow... last one...

1- Fields and fields and fields of sunflowers

2- Eating fruit off of every tree that is anywhere... I will seriously miss this (cherries, apricots, plums)

3- Gypsies-I found next year's Halloween costume

4- Taking my last shower on the race

5- Romanians are argumentative (they need cue cards-not angry, just excited...)

6- Final Debrief!!! (being able to say goodbye, sharing laughs and FLASH MOBBING the city of Brasov)

7- Gardening-onions and garlic

8- Getting to have vaca in the middle of the month (Black Sea one last time)

9- Singing karaoke with 30-something people at one time... more hilarious than you know

10- Bran Castle

The Only Truth I Know

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Last few days of ministry on the World Race... seriously... I never thought I would see this day. It is so crazy to think that this long journey is almost over. Today we went did a small kids ministry in a little village somewhere in random Romania. We basically told Bible stories and threw balls and frisbees at each other all day.

There was this family of brothers (four boys) that really broke my heart today. They were all similar in that they were all dirty and somewhat more hesitant to interact than most. I fell in love with the smallest one who I thought was actually a girl for about 20 minutes. Anyway... I saw them and wanted to comfort and love them. I sat and (because I am an emotional wreck lately who is in love with everything and everyone) I began to think about the race.

Over this year I have had to wrestle with that one annoying question... why does God let all of this happen? Why is there suffering if God is so good? I know why there is suffering... it is because of sin. I have seen so much more suffering than I probably wanted to this year, and I don't ask that question anymore, because I have learned the truth.

The truth is: God is good. That's it, no four point sermon, no convincing, because I am sure of it more than I am of most things. I have seen poverty and prostitution and injustice and complacency and religion and just hard things, and I still believe God is good. Truth has nothing to do with what my eyes see.

Looking ahead, this makes going home a bit easier. I know He's good and nothing will change that. This is probably my last blog before my top ten for Romania, and I am sad to see it go, but it has "been a good run" and I can't wait for what's next!

All These Ashes

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So... whether you know or not, I have been gone for the past week on a youth retreat at the beach on the Black Sea (again). It was nice, uncomfortable for more reasons than just the physical, but if you want to know about that, you should read Samara's latest blog...

I have been reading blogs and listening to other racers about going home, about leaving this community, about ending the reality that we have had for the past year and being thrown back into our past reality with the only difference being ourselves that are completely wrecked for anything ordinary.

I don't know what to say to add to all these feelings, because I feel the same way as everyone probably. I am so excited to see my family and go back to America but just as sad to leave these people, this way of life. The thought of having something that is "normal" scares me.

So there's this song that has carried me since Kenya that I have posted at the bottom of this blog... it just explains a lot of what I am feeling inside...

I can't even put into words what I feel, mainly because it is a huge mix of emotions that are as plentiful as they are diverse. I love the Q... I think that's what I really want to say haha... I love God, and I believe that I have been through the fire in so many ways.

Sometimes I sit and wonder what will ever come of all these ashes... I just know that Isaiah says, "... to all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes.."

You and I meet on the shores of the broken
You swallow the ocean, I Swallow my pride
Only to see the way that I need you
Is more than I knew I ever could

In between the ashes and the flames
Is a cry an awkward silence
Could never contain
And the falling of my hammers
And the writhing of my pain
Is just not as real as the way
That your calling my name

I cant help thinking
That the way that you want me
And the ghost that haunts me
Are one and the same
Cause you stand at my window
At night wile I'm sleeping
There's not a promise I'm keeping
That could ever repay you

In between the ashes and the flames
There's a song that burns brighter
Than Radio waves
Bout the remnants of my Idols
And the shadow of my shame
About how they scatter like the rain and I can't stop crying
Cause you wont stop calling my name

Calling my name up from the ashes

Ashes and Flames by John Mark Mcmillan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4SOUEc-p3U

Gettin' My Hands Dirty

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Romania has so many gardens! I'll be honest, before the race, I did not really like being outside, especially when it had to do with working to make something grow. I never had the heart to weed or work the ground or plant things... This week however, we have been doing a huge amount of community service, and it looks pretty different from the rest of the world's "community service" projects.

Our men (the two of them on my team) have been doing really hard work like building and digging and hauling. Everywhere we have been, it pains the locals to put us girls to work. Many times we have to pretty much beg for them to put us to work.

Finally, we realized what it is that Romanians don't mind letting girls do, and that of course is gardening. I have been harvesting onions, carrots, garlic, appricots, cucumbers, and apples. I have been weeding and clearing out land and hacking away at plenty of vegetation, and to be honest I have loved working outside. Besides getting a tan, I feel like the Lord uses these small things to speak to me.

I have learned that most of the gardening has been the harvest and that has been so much fun and not actually that difficult. I was not here for the hard part, the planting, the bad weather, the hoping, the breaking of hard ground.

Going home is a big deal, but I realize that I have been doind the hard part all year. I have been letting the Lord prune and change and rain and plant and ruin my little plot of land. I know that the harvest, whenever it will come, is going to be just as satisfying as the physical harvest I have done this week.

So having said all of that, I love this gardening stuff!

If Nothing Else...

Thu, 7 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I'm going home next month... I am not looking forward to another month on the race... no more 60 hour travel days, no more airports, no more squatties, no more jungle, no more broken down buses, no more languages, no more weird food, no more 24/7 of the same 5 people... just the land of opportunity staring back at me. I have been listening to my squadmates, reading blogs of "you know you're a world racer when" and blogs of those that have already returned home. It's honestly the weirdest thing that I actually did this...this trip I mean. So what do I have to say about month 11 on the race?

Well...for the past 5 or so months, I found myself using so many "if nothing else..." lines. I realize all of the time that his year was absolutely worth it, because "if nothing else" I've changed a lot. If nothing else, I've met so many people and been to so many places. If nothing else, I have learned to live in community. If nothing else, I've learned to lead a team (through Africa). If nothing else, I have learned a lot about God and about myself. If nothing else, I can be honest.

I had no plan to change on this trip... I decided that I wanted to change the world and did not realize that I was the one that was going to change. It's scary to know that one season is ending and another one is beginning, but that is what the Lord has been showing me lately. I have been given this awesome gift called the World Race, it came and went, and now it is the beginning of something new... really new. I am most afraid of difference... for example, I thought about the automatic ice maker on our fridge yesterday and had a mild heart attack.

All the fear and apprehension aside, I know if nothing else, I hold the hand of the Lord. If nothing else, He has a good plan. He has better plans than I could ever come up with (leadership taught me that). If nothing else, I know that I lack nothing. If nothing else I stand on solid ground, walking with the One Who loves me and makes me secure and confident to place one foot in front of the other.

If nothing else, I know who I am... I said that out loud walking home from ministry yesterday and realized that this has all been worth it... that's what I am bringing home, and if nothing else, that's what I know...

ANTS

KINDLE

MESSENGERS

Ballets and Frying Pans

Tue, 5 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So, there are these two women in my life. I love them a lot. They are my grandmothers... affectionately referred to as Judy and Mawmaw. They are two very different women, but I love them both with the very same love. There is something about a grandmother that is so ridiculously special... something that they give you that I can't explain. Anyway... I want to dedicate this blog and the two following events to them...

Judy, I went to see Swan Lake! You can be proud of the fact that I am on an 11 month missions trip and that I was able to do something beautiful and involving such beautiful art. We were able to sit in a box (for only $20), and as I was watching the production of ballerinas respond to the flow of orchestra music, I teared up a bit because I wanted you to be there with me. When I got my tickets, I thought of you first and knew that you would be just as excited as I was to see the ballet. Thank you so much for opening me up to art and to dance and to performance. I want you to know that you mean a lot to me and I could not attend this wonderful event without thinking about how grateful I am for you. I love you my Judy...

Mawmaw!! I am in Romania, and I got up this morning to help clean out a cow stall and to dig up onions out of a garden. Although this is not what made me think of you, what I did afterwards did. The woman of the house was in the kitchen the whole time we worked outside, and as soon as we were finished, we went to help her in the kitchen. I saw her as she rolled out dough and when I saw her confidence as just a beautiful, loving mother and cook, I had to walk outside because I missed you so much. I stayed and watched her roll out dough and talk on in a language I don't know. I told her that she reminded me so much of you and that I missed you, so she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. Thank you so much for loving me all the time, anytime and forever. I love you and will always be your peachnut.

I know I can be ultra sappy sometimes, but I know that what I have in my life means so much more to me than getting my own way or having what I want all the time. I have met so many people all around this world, but will never forget the beauty and delight of my own family. So... Mawmaw and Judy... this one's for you!!

Ukraine Top Ten

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

1. Walking across this bridge in Odessa that is covered with the pad locks of couples just married... so cute.

2. Getting to see Swan Lake performed in the 2nd most beautiful opera house in the world!!

3. Learning what it means to travel by train. I learned it's the best because you get to lay down.

4. Realizing that Ukrainians really are like watermelons... sweet on the inside once you get through the tough exterior.

5. Moving-I packed my bag at least 9 times this month.

6. Pressing ridiculous amounts of flowers in every book that I am carrying.

7. Drinking Kavas, which is a non-alcoholic Ukrainian beer that they drink like water.

8. Fighting off angry babushkas... no matter how happy they are, their Russian always sounds angry.

9. Eating the best food on the race... no rice in sight.

10. Being on a team with Samara.

ps... All I'm saying is I will be writting my last top ten list of the World Race next month...

Missionaries, Drugs, and Rock n Roll

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

We concluded last night that our ministry this month has basically been getting to know really cool people. Yes, we did a little gardening, singing and preaching, but for the most part, I have been building relationships in the most unlikely place. I did not know anything about Ukraine before coming here other than that it was in Europe, but I have really grown to absolutely love it...

We have moved so much and it's been hard to meet and say good bye to so many, but I am racking up a few days I'll probably never forget... like yesterday.

All I knew was that we would be hanging out with some people from Bible study, and that we were going to spend the day at a drug rehab center. When I picture rehab, I think hospital except with people coming off of drugs and trying to get sober. The Ukraine rehab that we visited though was very different. There were no hospital beds, no nurses, no pain killers, no security... just a house in the middle of nowhere. There were eight residents, two ministers, a bunch of geese, two cows, and a fresh litter of kittens. These men check in to this house and stay for at least 6 months, take care of the house and animals all while being ministered to and keeping up with daily duties.

What I wasn't expecting was that they would be probably the funniest and most fun group of men that I would ever meet. They barbequed kabobs for us after excitedly showing us their animals and their home. A few were shy and did not want to talk at first, but pretty soon everyone was laughing and eating and asking questions and just enjoying each others' company in the outside country atmosphere. A few of them had recently given their lives to Jesus and were living for Him so radically... it was really encouraging to see.

They really liked music (luckily we had a guitar, so I started to play and sing. Pretty soon my new friend Eric (or Ed as we were to refer to him) put on his shades and became my drummer for the day - hitting on pots and tables and anything else he could find with two water bottles. (He actually kept really good tempo) I feel like I played forever -- ergo the finger pic above...

After eating and fellowship, we walked down the street to their new home that had just been given to them to be fixed up. It is twice as big as the old one and will be able to house more men in the future. We walked through a strawberry field and took pictures and laughed and then said goodbye.

These men were some of the most beautiful, kind men I've met, and I enjoyed so much spending the day with them. They live unashamed in realization of where they have come from and where God wants to take them... so... pray for the ten men in rehab in the middle of nowhere Ukraine today... pray that they see themselves as perfectly as their Father does.

Let the Rocks Cry Out

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So this week, we left Odessa... the little city that we have grown so fond of... left the waves and the hordes of people, all busy with the trappings of everyday life, and traded that all in for something simpler. We arrived in a little village about three hours away, and I promise there was no Wal-Mart in sight. The bathroom was that oh so familiar hole in the ground outside and a shower was a five minute walk away.

The two women on my team and myself rented out a little house, that I'm sure was from World War II complete with an old midewy smell, for only 70 grievna a week (about $8.75). It was beautiful.

Besides getting absolutely homemade food all week such as homemade bread with honey, borsht (soup), and yogurt that wasn't from the store, we got to know some pretty amazing families. We specifically got to work with three young couples and their children. They were the most beautiful loving families that I've met on the race yet. They cared for each other so well and loved God even more. It's funny how this made me want to go home more than ever... I miss my own family.

We did a bit of manual labor there which was nice. The first thing that we did was gather "bricks" at a rock query for a family to rebuild an old house, because they were being kicked out of their present one. The bricks were more like any rocks you could find that were bigger than your hand. The place was in the middle of nowhere on the hills of country Ukraine, and it was so beautiful. On the way back (we were in two separate old Russian cars), our drivers turned those old country roads into a racing ground... my car won.

We also climbed up a hill (I didn't fall going up) to prepare an area for a kid's camp (picking up trash and digging bathroom holes). We were able to see the beautiful countryside and take huge gulps of the fresh air that is so pure here. We were told that it was lunch time (bread, boiled potatoes, cucumbers, and canned fish), but as soon as we sat to eat, the rain fell. We gathered all that we had to make our way down the hill before the rain got worse. The problem is that I am consequently very bad at going down hills without falling, but muddy hills that are steep while I'm carrying things?... well... Jared stayed with me and made the quick decision to take the pot of boiled potatoes and the large knife that I was attempting to haul down the slippery trail.

...This was probably one of the most scary/hilarious things that I have done on the race... honestly. I fell twice, the rain got harder, yet I ended up carrying my mud caked flip-flops down the trail, shaking with slight fear and laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing all the way down. I made it finally and we built a fire to dry off.

So other than gathering rocks, falling down a hill (twice), being overcome with the beauty of Ukraine, visiting country houses with homemade food, street racing on the backside of hills, hanging out by the lake, singing to hosts that invited us for tea, and picking strawberries right out of a garden and cherries out of a tree... I had a fairly quiet week in the country...

Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'

Mon, 6 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So... this week has been so amazing/normal/fun and I am sad to leave Odessa... yes leave. I know it is not the end of the month, but we are leaving this town for a new one in two days. We will be going there to do the same thing that we have done here (teach English) and then come back for a day, leave for a day, come back, then leave for ten days... then plans for a 20-30 hour travel day by train to Romania after all that. I feel like I am moving so much this month. If the World Race wasn't enough moving in itself... I don't feel I am having a chance to settle here.

Goodbye beach so soon, but hello other parts of Ukraine... I am thankful to be in this European country and to be able to see so much of it. I cannot say, much less spell, the places we will be, but hopefully I can tell you when I know.

Although this is hard (packing and moving within a year of doing just that), I think the Lord knows what I need right now... I mean I know He does at this point . I am finding that the closer I get to the Lord, the less I am sure of, but the more I know He's in control. I am thankful to not get too rooted... it helps me to prepare to go home (got plane info today... weird).... I giggled a lot about it though. I am thankful to have some culture shock in a country not so primitive before going to the States.

I don't really know what I wanted to say in this blog, except that I am moving, God is moving, and I suppose I'll just let Him take me wherever to whatever He has... and that it's a good lesson before I dive into the deep unknown of the rest of my life...

I did not take either one of these pics, but I did walk down (and back up) those stairs and I have road and will ride forever on that train... anyways... love you all

Nude Beach

Thu, 2 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Ok... we are in Odessa, Ukraine as I have said already, and if you look on a map, this city is right on the beach of the Black Sea. Fortunately, our hostel is a 5-7 minute walk straight to the water. Even though we are only in Odessa for a weekish and then we are visiting various suburbs across Ukraine, I have been seriously soaking up the water. The weather here is usually in the 70s and blue and the water is cold... what a welcome after heat stroke Nepal.

When we first visited the beach, and I got the chance to put my feet into the Black Sea, it was an understatement to say that we had a bit of a culture shock. Every country that we have visited thus far has been so modest and ridiculously concerned with things like shoulders and knees. Well... we are in Europe now and that day we saw our fair share of men in Speedos and topless women. Either way, we are all so thankful to be near water and to be in weather that doesn't make you feel instantly dirty after showering.

Even though I have no desire to wake up anytime before I have to, I have been forcing myself to wake up a bit early and trudge down to the water and just sit in the morning... read and journal and talk to God. I walked into the waves one morning while the wind was blowing and the sun was rising. It was the most peaceful feeling I have had in a while... the most comfortable I have been in the longest time. The water is so cold everyday, but so refreshing. The surf washed over my feet and it was so shocking and welcomed at the same time. I told the Lord "thank You" and I asked Him to touch me like that... in the way that the sea was so fulfilling... again He gave me one of those one line answers, "come beyond the taste."

First thought... what the heck does that mean? I thought of how the water was so satisfying leaving me wanting more. Then I thought about what it looks like to go farther into something that feels that good. In life, sin I think is one of those things. Sin feels so good for a season, for a time there is peace, but it is not lasting... going deeper is destructive to so much and so many.

But what does it look like to go beyond what we have already tasted in God... in our relationship with Him? After all that I have tasted of God and His goodness, I know that there is more. I know that in the morning, He was calling me on to more... to somewhere deeper. I thought of that story in Ezekiel 47 (you should read it) when Ezekiel went further and further out into the sea and how eventually he was washed away beyond his own control. Going further out into the water means losing more and more control, getting lost, not being able to be swayed by anything else but the waves, to eventually not be able to see or touch the bottom... this sounds scary, but God is sovereign... you want to be lost in the water that He controls.

The sea is salty which represents healing, it's refreshing and cold. Anyway... this is getting longer than I anticipated, but to sum it all up I will share what my journal said that morning and hope that God reveals more to you than He did to me and also hope that you can find a beach soon... maybe it won't be so nude.

"...it's like I've felt the water-so healing (salt), refreshing, so cold... I've tasted the promise, and it's up to me to come further, to take steps into the "River of Healing" (Ezekiel 47). It's like, there You are... You're life and I have to walk forward. My footing gets less and less sure, but I am in more of You. I can't resist Your waves when my feet aren't standing. The waves are big, the horizon has no end, the sun is bright, the waters dark and unknown, I can't feel the floor... I can only let go and keep my head up... "

\\ya ne govoru na angliyskom

Thu, 2 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I am in Europe!!! I cannot believe that I only have two more months... It has been such a shock to be here because of just the "westerness" of everything in Europe. Our contact for the month is American, so communication is awesome. I had a Dr. Pepper at the airport, took a hot shower for the first time (and bawled), and slept in a bed with a sheet and a comforter.

After spending a day and a half in Kiev, we made our way by train overnight (so cool) to our home for the month... Odessa. I know Odessa Texas, so it is reassuring to be here in some way. My next blog is about the amazing beach that we are staying by and that I am so thankful for, so I'll let you read that one later. We are staying in an apartment/ hostel that is run by a Russian babushka named Olga and house world racers along with random Russian men. Our lodging is complete with two small rooms, an outdoor shower and bathroom... there is hot water that I have been using about every other day because the weather is so cool and I don't feel dirty that much.

Ministry wise, we have been spending our days doing Bible studies, building relationships, planning English club, and my favorite so far - hitting the streets to hand out flyers for "American club." It is called American club of course because we are here and we are native English speakers and American... it works out.

When we hand them out, our contact has asked us to say "Do you speak English" to everyone that we hand stuff out to. It has been really fun and we have enjoyed getting to know this community. It is fun to see that doing things like going up to people I have never met before would normally be awkward and scary, but at this point it's more fun than something that makes me want to run and hide.

After a bunch of rejection and just hilarious responses, we had our first class last night and had a pretty good crowd. It was so fun, and I really enjoyed hanging out with Ukrainians. I am thankful to be here (despite the culture shock)...

... the title of this blog was typed by one of my new Ukrainian friends... I think it says I don't speak any English...

India Top Ten

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So... this is probably the most sad top ten list that I will ever do, because I don't want to leave this place. But, I know I'll be back, so it's not really goodbye... here goes nothing...

1- Rickshaws are always more expensive because I am white.
2- I cannot stop doing the head bobble.
3- Hindi is everywhere, and I am so excited!
4- Being around Muslims and Hindus again is kind of a shock after Christian Africa.
5- Watching Slumdog Millionaire here was sort of ironic, hilarious, and a bit awkward.
6- I am an "Auntie" to anyone younger than me.
7- Chai... everyday... at least three times... this is why I am coming back.
8- It is hot all the time.
9- Women wear fresh flowers in their hair every day.
10- Paul, Anita, and Jr. at Capstone Community Church in Bangalore!!!

Also, to add a number 11, I loved having my birthday here. It was so good and I am so thankful for a great ministry to work with, an amazing team, and an amazing squad. I could not have asked for more... also... I saw the Taj Mahal!! I love India!!!

Meet the Messengers

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Yes, I have spent the last five months with the same people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. These five have seen me at my absolute best and worse. Cambodia was the first month of leadership, Africa was hard... India was breakthrough, and I am sad to say good bye to the people that went through all of it with me, but God knows what He is doing. I knew team changes were coming, so I am writing this to let you in on what happened over last debrief.

I am not in leadership anymore which is sad and weird, but needed and I am thankful. I had like three days of an identity crisis, but I'm good now... The transition from my first team to my second wasn't that awful, because I had three of the same people to continue on with. For the first 8 months I was with those three same people. I gained 2 more on the team that I lead - Sarah and Samantha-- and they quickly became family. I feel like while the first three months were so transformational, the middle five were the hardest and the time where I think I grew the most. I loved leading that team, and I think that is what I miss the most. I know, though, that these last three months (two by the time you read this) is a gift from God to be drawn so much closer to Him.

So without further adieu, my new team is Jared Messenger (leader), Samara Murtaugh, Taylor McKellar, Gina Beukelman, and me. I will spend the entire race with Jared which is cool... we were under one leader, I was his leader and now he is my leader. Other than that, I am happy for a small team, and as much as I wanted to be on an all girls team, I am happy that I've been with guys this whole time. I am excited for the last bit and am so excited about what I am going to learn from the Lord through this new team as we run it out together... oh, and our name is The Messengers... look Jared's last name and guess why... we thought it was catchy...

Still All About Love

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

When I first made it to Kenya, debrief was exactly just what I needed, and one of my then squad mates now teammate, Samara, shared with us something that the Lord put on her heart for us. She talked about how we don't realize how much God loves us. This is or was old annoying news to me at the time. There was something nice about it, but something irritating because I felt like I could never really believe that. For those of you that don't know, the race has made me realize how much I have struggled with unbelief and struggled with knowing with my whole being that God truly loves me individually.

Over the course of Africa, I wrestled with God on a lot of things, and on the way to the India in the plane, I heard the Lord out of the struggle. He promised me to reveal love to me... I had no clue what that looked like, so I just journaled it and decided to see what would happen. In India, after a particularly rough hour or so of crying about nothing, I felt something I never had before. In my heart and in my mind and in my whole self, I felt an embrace like no one could give. Since then, God has changed my mind about a lot of things.

I see myself so differently, my life differently, circumstance differently... I feel it, I believe it... I really do. I can't say enough about this, but this last debrief, God spoke something else about what His love is. I was laying on the floor in the dark at worship one night with my squad, overcome with His love, and I just kept saying over and over again, "I don't deserve it, I don't deserve it, I don't deserve it."

I am finding out that when the Lord speaks to me, He is very direct. He gives me one-liners all the time... no fluff. I guess He knows what I respond to, or need to hear. On the floor in that moment, God gave me one of those lines, the kind that make me shut up. He said, "My love has nothing to do with you deserving it." And that was it... all I needed in that moment.

God is love. That is all that He is. When I get God, I get love. His love is not something He just gives, it is His very being. I don't get God without His love. His being love has nothing to do with my squeaky clean record or because I am amazing or put together. His love is there even if I don't recognize it, or want it, or even believe that it is there. God is love, and that's all there is. Be loved.

Bus Wreck at 3 AM

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Again... travel day on the World Race is never what you expect. There is something about venturing into the unknown that doesn't scare me anymore... probably because nothing ever happens like I want/expect it to. After an amazing couple of days at debrief, I was all refueled and recharged and excited to jump into these last few months (crazy) with my new team and new leader... praise the Lord.

Before I dive into this very ridiculous and elaborate tale of traveling from India to Nepal, I would like to say that it would be rather unfair to call it simply travel day. I have, therefore, decided to so name this time in my life "travel week (from the pit)."

We were set to leave in three groups from Hyderabad on the 28^{th and I was lucky number two set to leave at 1 pm. No, this isn't that show the Amazing Race, but it seriously feels like it especially on days like this. I packed all of my things into my pack, that has gotten significantly smaller since month one, and said goodbye to my favorite country. We bused to the airport which decided not to take us to the front of the airport, but rather kicked us out, packs and all to take a shuttle. To the surprise and frustration of many Indians around us, we finally made it to the airport and successfully checked in.}

Our flight wasn't for about an hour and I was starving, so a few of us got the best sandwich I've had since white water rafting and an iced cappuccino (no need to talk about how that made me feel). After forever, we got our food just in time to make it to the last call for our flight. We hurried on and had a pretty uneventful flight yet again. We were, however, served a complimentary shot glass size of water... thank you Air India. When we landed we were met by the group that left at 10 am that morning and were told that we could not leave to get food, there wasn't any around, there were a ton of mosquitoes, only one plug to share among like 20 electronically dependent world racers, and that there may be 50 or so Indians staring at the shanty town that they had created to spend the night and wait for the third team to arrive in the morning.

I used the bathroom that had soap, toilet paper, a seat, and I felt better. Long story short... I shared a mat to sleep on under florescent lighting on the floor of the Delhi baggage claim floor and woke up the next morning with the understanding that I would be on a bus to Nepal that day for 15 hours to the boarder and another 6 hours to Kathmandu. Bought pizza for breakfast, water and lugged a year's worth of my belongings to a relatively nice bus. It had air conditioning, which I may have been ecstatic about, and a free coke when I boarded... things were looking up.

Our fabulous logistics man, Ryan, came onto the bus and after his lovely welcome given over bus microphone told us that the timing was a little off-we were set to take the 33 hour trip by bus to Nepal... ok... ::sigh::... at least I can sleep/ hang out/ rest/ journal and catch upon anything else that was left... No, I quickly learned that you cannot really do any of these things on a third world country bus... especially through India. The best way I can describe it is: imagine yourself on an old roller coaster (one of those wooden ones that should have been torn down 5 years ago) and then imagine trying to sleep on it. Seriously... I can't think of anything closer.

So there I was... cramped in a very small space, trying to get comfortable and, again, to make a long story short, or shorter, we visited more than one sick squatty in the middle of nowhere and ate at this weird restaurant while dazed and confused around 1 in the morning. Later, I had finally found a comfortable position which is nearly impossible and was into a really good conversation when something else was thrown into the equation... The bus slammed on the brakes, a horn sounded, and we were slammed into from behind. I don't know what I was thinking... maybe "what else?" After almost experiencing an Indian riot over the wreck, sort of cleaning up broken glass, making sure everyone was ok, and then retrieving our oversized packs that had been strewn over the busy interstate, we were on our way again-broken bus and all.

We were assured that we would be to the border "soon" where we would be able to board a new bus there for the remainder of our journey. So... after two... yes two full days of bus time (an estimated 52 hours), we finally reached the boarder that we were sure did not exist. It was a bit cold that morning, but we dragged our sick, dirty, whiplashed, exhausted selves off of that bus to cross the India/Nepal boarder. The promise of a new bus did not turn out to be such green pastures though. It wasn't a great bus... older with no A/C... The lame part was though that he did not take us where we paid him to, but to a bus park where he would not unload our packs without more money.

Luckily... our contact in Nepal came to the rescue. We got our packs and made it to a rest house in the mountains. It was beautiful there, and there were showers and breakfast and best of all.... A bed, praise the Lord.

Again... nothing is ever over on the race, which means... my team and I still had to go to our ministry sight. After two days at this awesome place, we said goodbye and made our way to a street corner where we were told that we would catch our "luxury bus." All of us had visions of a sweet sleeper bus with air con and room service... hilarious. Of course, we were being stared at and pictures were being taken of us as we stood with our packs... soon we drew a crowd and began to attempt to entertain them... we ended up making 26 Nepalese rupees... roughly 35 cents... it was fun anyway.

Our bus arrived... and let me just say it did not match the visions in our heads... so after another 13ish hours on that and 2 hours on a van after that... we have made it far back into the mountains of Nepal at Bethany church to do ministry. It's hard to explain how hard this week was, but all in all, God sees us through every time and gives us what we need... if you want more details (believe me this could be a short novel) hit me up... other than that, I've got nothing' else...

I Like Old Ladies

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The first Sunday here in Surkhet, Nepal, was beautiful and a time where I met the most beautiful lady I have ever seen. Our leader, Jared, preached after we worshiped and I did a special number and we were all introduced. We were given gifts already - flower necklaces (part of Nepalese culture) and a picture of the church to take home.

The service was typical Asian which meant women and men sat on opposite sides all with no shoes on the floor. I actually really like this by the way... maybe not the separation, but I could do no shoes in church any day. When the service was older, we were taking pictures and just mingling with the congregation when I saw her. This older woman had such a glow about her. This trip has taught me so much about the beauty of the elderly. I feel like when I see an old person, the Lord just whispers to me, "she's my favorite."

I don't know if I have much else to say but just that I wanted to blog about her. I do not know her name or her story, but I know that she is the Lord's absolute favorite and I wanted to share her with you because she is so beautiful to me and our Father. Enjoy!

But I Don't Like Kids

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So... I don't like kids that much, I've learned. I can just feel all of my aunts and grandmothers cringing, because they are just so precious and you just want to take them all home right? I'm sorry. I am learning that it's just not my ministry. God has a place for me... a good place... it's just not there. Having said that... I wanted to talk a little bit about a day in school ministry that I did this last week.

This month has been pretty weird. You've hopefully read about my travel day and know that it took a lot to get here. After all of that we stayed in a place called Chenchu a middle of nowhere town around Surkhet, Nepal. Two weeks there flew by, and we have now moved all of our lives to another place... further away from civilization... further into the Himalayas... further than a next to nothing at all town that I can't remember the name of.

Before we left our last home to find a new one, we got to minister at a school for two days. The first day I was having stomach issues, so I stayed back, but I was better the second day and decided to go and teach. I was sort of excited maybe because I volunteered to speak to the teachers instead of students... my team was glad and so was I. I'm going to be very vulnerable and say that I don't always want to... especially at this point in the race. I am tired... sometimes too tired. I feel like I've emotionally and maybe physically aged 20 years and the thrill of saving the world is long gone most days.

We got to the school, and while I was under the impression that I would be ministering to the teachers (praise the Lord), I was walked down a hall with the rest of my team and pushed into a classroom of about thirty 10-14 year old students. Standing in front of rowdy kids alone with no other team members, a teacher or a translator is intimidating. Oh, what to do with them for an hour and a half...

As soon as I crossed the threshold, they all said in unison "Good morning Miss, how are you today?" in heavily accented English, to which I responded, "Fine and you?" ... off to a good start. I told them my name and that I was from America and that I was 24 years old (I promise I heard one kid gasp). To be completely honest, I was not excited about this to begin with, but like a lot of other things on the race, it's like exercise. You never want to start, but once you do, it feels good and you always are more happy that you did it.

Amidst the songs and my story about Samuel, I told them that there was one thing that I wanted them to remember after I left. I made them shout "God loves me!!" over and over until they could remember on their own. I loved those kids that day... I felt like they were mine for an hour or so. It felt so great to scream about the love of their Father and to just hope they grasped the truth. I may have adored them for a short bit... they were kind of precious after all.

I was finally finished with my least favorite thing, maybe new favorite thing, when I turned around and shouted, "What do I want you to remember?" I turned, left the room, and walked down the hall that day to the sound of 30 Nepalese children screaming, "God loves me! God loves me!"

I Have To Keep My Clothes On

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I've said already that we have moved, and to be honest, it's gotten easier to pack up every month, but to do it twice is sort of weird and a lot. I feel like I grab at any little thing sometimes to feel at home at a new place... here it's the open window that I can see the sunset out of in our room. As you already know, we traded our old home for a new one that is deeper into the mountains... We even got to cross one of those thin shaky foot bridges to get across the river and into our village.

There are animals right outside of our room... including chickens, dogs, buffalo, pigs and piglets, goats, and anything else roaming. One of the first things that a Racer wants to know when arriving "home" is most likely the bathroom situation... that's usually my question anyway. Where's the toilet and how can I get clean?

Sometimes the options are slim, but knowing what it looks like just helps to understand how much we have to adapt. For example, if a contact points to an open field when you say "toilet?" then you know you aren't going to have anything to sit on... Here we have yet another squatty, and our shower... well, there is no shower. So where do we bathe? Well... as girls we all go at once to the community water faucet... and we keep our clothes on. This has been interesting, but I'm getting used to it just like everything else.

It is pretty funny though I'm sure to be on the outside looking in... I mean, three white women washing their hair and trying to wash most of their bodies all to the spectacle of a village woman who is waiting to fill her family's water jar is not something you see every day. It's scary to think that this won't be my life soon, but for right now it is...

There aren't as many mosquitoes here which has been amazing. I preached this morning to the small community church here which was really fun and just cool. We will be doing door to door for most of the time here and soon leaving to board a plane that will take us to our final destination... Europe.

Nepal Top Ten

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

1- Flowers are for every occasion! ... I've gotten them at least three times...

2- Samosas

3- Been stared at more than ever in this country... right down to through the window during nightly feedback.

4- These people know how to pray and worship... at 4 am

5- The Himalayas!

6- Food Schedule: Tea-7:30 am Lunch-9 am Tea-2 pm-ish Dinner-7:00 pm Notice I said nothing about breakfast or a noon lunch.

7- Almost crying when hearing someone other than us speak English after a week...

8- Moving in the middle of the month

9- I never want to ride on a Nepalese bus again for as long as I live

10- I rode on the top of a Nepalese bus... that was ok and probably awesome

Rooftop Love

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

...rooftops are good... I like to be able to see everything... it makes me feel like I can hear You better. No one speaks to me way up here, because they are all busy down there. Sometimes, I guess like the time right now, I remember what it's like to be a child... to recall what it was like to trust and not question, to not struggle with unbelief. I knew Who You were.

As I got older, I began to question everything, doubt happened. Time passed and I knew too much about You that I had no clue Who You were at all.

Belief got harder.

I ran away and waited for You to come find me. I learned later that You never left me. I didn't believe, but You never left me. I sinned, You didn't leave me. I deliberately turned my back, knowing that I had once believed, but still you didn't leave me. I held someone else's hand, but You never left. I found myself entranced by false beauty and selfish, perverted lust, but you didn't leave me, You never turned Your face.

I was so comfortable in my own kingdom, that's when You came, I was taken by great surprise. I wanted You, but I didn't expect to see. I was so tired of sitting alone in the dark, but I couldn't know where to place my feet.

Just when I thought it was over and I wouldn't ever breathe again, suddenly, it happened...

I saw the crack in the door.

With my unused eyes, I saw something other than the dark.

Painfully, I opened the door. Light flooded all that life had become. I saw the sick and the ugly. Your beauty was more than I could take. In a hurry, I glanced around that dark life -now lit up-and even though it so badly hurt to walk towards You, I began to put one foot in front of the other as You beckoned me... I felt healing in every step.

Your peace came and washed off all the filth and blood from my skin making a puddle at my feet.

I saw my nakedness and I was ashamed, but Your kindness brushed my face to remind me that You were still there before me. I began to weep at the sight of so many wounds, so many bruises, so much stolen from the enemy for such a long time. I felt shame and repentance in my heart.

It was then that You lifted my head.

Out of Your very being, Your love began to seep into everything that I was. It felt like nothing but a quick wind at first, but then it became stronger than anything I had ever felt. It washed over me like a wave-so strong and so heavy. With it You began to heal my wounds. The deepest scars and all of the hurt, You began to sooth. I looked down as my past was forgotten. I remembered all of the hurt that sin had caused.

I was finally clean and Your joy came and clothed me in fresh white. Your gentle hands held my face as You looked into my eyes. You called me Your own. You called my by name... victorious. You called me beauty. You called me daughter. You called me new. You shut the door behind me and spoke freedom strong enough to break the chains around my ankles.

You took my hand, began to walk forward. That's when I heard You say it... for the first time...

"I love you."

I'll Cry If I Want To

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So, it's really exciting to be able to spend my 24th birthday in India. Before I left for the race, I thought it was such a forever far away time. I never thought this day would finally come, but here we are. I am in India and I am turning 24 next week. Because my birthday falls on a debrief day, I wanted to share it with my team while we are here in Bangalore. Friday night, we celebrated.
   I was told to be ready at 4:30, and after getting semi lost (surprise, surprise) on our way there, we finally arrived at Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. I was pretty excited because any place American is like an automatic welcome at this point. The table was covered with awesome handmade party hats which were awesome. All together, two teams and Andrew and one of our contacts Thelma were there. It felt so good to be with friends... well, family really. I had this awesome chicken spinach stuff and mashed potatoes with cheese... so good. After this, the waiter came out with a huge bowl-like glass of chocolate cake, ice cream, and whipped cream. I realize that this race makes you the least shy person in existence, which means everyone had a spoon and very quickly helped me devour the whole thing as soon as the last note of the Happy Birthday song was belted.
   After this, I'll be honest and say that I expected that we would do something else on this most momentous celebration, but everyone was set on going back to the base, because we had ministry today. Everyone seemed frantic, but of course I didn't notice. We took rickshaws home instead of a bus (they are more expensive which doesn't make since) but of course, I didn't notice. I was pulled into a rickshaw that I wasn't initially going for, while others frantically got into the first one available, which again I didn't notice.   Amber and Sarah and Thelma were in my rickshaw, so of course everything was hilarious and distracting. They were acting a little sketchy, but again, I didn't notice. I think the World Race has desensitized me to everything that is remotely out of place, I think because most things are out of place.
   Before we got back to base, Thelma got a call and decided that we needed to turn around to go and get something from her friend, and she had to do it now. She was afraid to annoy our driver after she realized that we were semi lost, so we paid them and got out to begin to walk on foot - lost down dark alleys. Yes, there were no lights, yes, it had just rained and I couldn't see, and yes, there were random scary packs of dogs everywhere.
   At one point I looked at Amber and said, "I have enough of this." I was annoyed that we had no clue where we were going and that this all had to be done right then. I thought it was stupid, and I just wanted to go home. I was like, "Happy Birthday to me"... as I stepped in a puddle of sludge and was told by exasperated Thelma that we still did not know where we were going.

We finally arrived at "her friend's" apartment building and climbed the stairs. When we got to the second floor, the door opened and what I expected wasn't what I got. The rest of the racers were there with our contacts with a cake and candles and the birthday song (again). It was so hilarious and crazy. We ate and talked and I was informed that we would be sleeping overnight and that I could have a shower and that my clothes had already been packed... it was such a pleasant surprise. I thank God for my family on the race. They always know how to make something out of nothing and make things special even though we're broke and homeless. Needless to say, I felt bad about being annoyed... and everyone is still shocked that I had no clue since there are never any secrets in this community of weirdos...

Keep Rockin' Till the Churches Are Filled

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I feel like being serious for a bit, so give me grace, huh?

I am on the World Race... still. I had a moment today when I remembered finding out about this trip and just the thought of it was honestly ridiculous and so long and asked so much. I remember actually going to training camp and still not really being sure about the whole thing. I knew this was God, but I had a hard time believing it in my head. I thought I knew a lot. I thought I had most of it together...

Fast forward to Thailand, month three, I was in the middle of a worship service that I blogged about forever ago. God spoke to me that night. I knew that He was alive in me, was restoring all of my abandon and all of my brokenness. I knew at that moment I was supposed to be here. I still had no clue what I was supposed to be accomplishing or not accomplishing, but I guess I knew enough to get a tattoo (still no regrets).

The end of that month lead to something totally unexpected and seemingly out of place... leadership. Didn't see that one coming, and I was pretty convinced that I was absolutely not fit for the job. I was unsure, but because I can't say no and I felt it was God deep down anyway, I cried for like 30 minutes and agreed. I realize now that it was God pushing me forward... I tend to look back a lot.

Africa-well, not much I can say but those three months brought nothing easier, only more struggle, burnout and no motivation. I learned that it is even harder to lead a team when you don't really want to do what is asked. Again, this wilderness middle of the race was a place that I of course needed. I am also learning that God knows what I need, even when it sucks.

I am in India now - the whole reason I signed up for this thing to begin with. I thought by the time I would get here I would be so blinded by exhaustion that I wouldn't care like I wanted to, but again, I am pretty sure and can honestly know that as this point in my life, I trust God more than I ever have. He seriously knows, and His timing is more than perfect... it's almost hilarious actually.

We are working with a ministry this month called Capstone Community Church lead by my new friends Paul and his wife Anita. I can't say enough about how amazing they have been and have made this month far exceed my greatest expectations... even though we aren't supposed to have any. Their ministry is all about loving people exactly where and who they are and walking them to freedom. Sounds a bit World Racy, I know... it's awesome. Paul is also a phenomenal musician and their ministry is all about music which is more than just my heart. I have loved this month, this country, these people, and this place that I am in. I adore that God knows, and He is always good. I know that He loves me. I believe that He has a plan for my life and that I am taking steps as He directs.

Even though there are more questions than answers sometimes, I know who holds my future... I don't want to sound cheesy, but He loves me. And like my grandma used to say when we were growing up... "I am somebody and I am going somewhere."

By the way... Capstone's slogan is the title of this blog... love it.

What About the Outcasts?

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I feel so many things right now and don't have enough time or energy or articulation to truly communicate everything that is going on in my head... seriously. This month so far has been so unique and so fulfilling and so revelational, that it's a process just to process in my own mind.

Because there is so much, I wanted to share a really cool experience that we got to have the other day as a team. We were told about a week ago that on last Saturday morning we would be able to go and hang out with disabled kids and color with them and sing songs and just love them.

After prayer and a pep talk about how most of them were Muslim and their parents would be there, we left to embrace just sowing a good seed and doing good and trying our best to preach Jesus with our lives. We arrived downtown Bangalore to this really beautiful park in the middle of the bustling city. We headed straight to a gazebo in the middle where people were gathering.

I walked in and was met with a bunch of kids and their mothers covered almost totally in black. I feel like in situations like these, God speaks so loudly. Here we were with about 30 kids who have mental disabilities and their Muslim mothers. Kids like this are considered cursed in this culture and are seen as not worth giving time to... they are lost causes here. In addition, ministering to Muslims seems almost impossible and might scare the average Christian away.

I know that before the race, I would have been terrified of this situation, but after seeing God's love cover the darkest places of me, my eyes tend to see a bit differently. I looked at these "outcasts," these "lost causes" and God spoke so clearly to me. He said in the smallest whisper, "These are my children and I love them."

He loves them... and He has given His love to me so that I can love them to.

At the beginning of this month, the Lord spoke a bit to me on the plane over that the word for this month was love. I know it's an overused word and I can't honestly say that I know what it means, but now I realize a lot of what He meant by that. I am so excited for the rest of this month. I know that there is a lot more love to be had.

I Hear You Loud and Clear

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

You may notice that I am not blogging that much lately, or not... either way... I have probably blogged less here than I did in Africa which is saying a lot, to be honest. There, of course, is a reason. I was sure that coming here, coming to India, would awaken this creative side of me that would just burst forth a ton of music and blogs that were beautiful and more meaning full than I could ever think of myself... this of course is not the case.

The difference with this writer's block and the usual one is that this one doesn't bug me too much.

I know that it is all just distraction...

Distraction from my own thoughts and my own mind... to explain this the best way that I can, I guess I can just say that there is too much around me. I am seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling, and just experiencing the place that I've always imagined myself being.

For as long as I can remember, I have always known that this life is given to us for a great adventure...

...an adventure to find God...

...an adventure to finally know His love...

...an adventure to know who we are... and live like it...

...an adventure to find beauty in the broken...

...an adventure to find our place and those people that we love...

...to know why we are here...

I know that we are all made for more. We are made for more than existence. I want to live and find the beautiful, raw, relentless, strong, real, genuine, unconditional, radical, uninhibited, messy, vast, deep obsessive LOVE of my Creator. I know that He has a spot for me...

... and I am pretty sure I have found it.

I'm distracted.

I am breathing in all that is around me, and to be honest, I surprisingly don't have much to say. There are no revelations, no words, no analyzing... nothing.

All I know is that I am here... in India... I am finally here... my eyes are wide open and I'm moving to the sound of the restless destiny that surrounds me...listen.

Black Sabbath

Mon, 4 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

So I know that I am in India and I should probably have some sort of earth-shattering revelation or something that is remotely meaningful to talk about, but seriously, yesterday was too ridiculous to not talk about. Saturday is our day off this month in India and yesterday was our first one. As some of you recall, in Rwanda, Tricia wrote a blog about a "day in the life" of a racer, because to be honest sometimes it's ridiculous... I wish for a second that I could teleport someone from home and just live a day with me. I will attempt to recount my day off in Bangalore, but I promise I won't be able to explain half of it I'm sure...

* Woke up to break a beginning of the month fast with three other team members.

* Breakfast is at 7:30, so I woke up early for the momentous occasion excited to eat Indian breakfast.

* Went upstairs to find bread and jelly... strawberry jelly (which I can't stand the sight of since working at McD's for two years...)

* So I ate cookies and went to a bakery to find out that no food is sold until eleven.

* Came back home and had devo's with the team... worship on the rooftop which was probably hilarious sounding because I lost my voice day two of being here.

* Paired up and prayed for each other and about the things in our life that we saw as hopeless.

* Yes, we still do God stuff on off days

* Got dressed and decided to hit the city for the day and find something awesome to eat

* Without any real plan or guide, we of course got on the wrong bus to start

* Luckily, we ran into a YWAMer and he helped out... thank God

* Arrived at the city center and successfully navigated ourselves to the nearest McD's which we spent the rest of the morning marveling at our ability to travel well and to know where we are going

* Ate a chicken Big Mac (because the only beef around is alive and well roaming the streets) which of course was very spicy but went well with the ice cream I got afterwards.

* Left to wonder around looking for a movie theater which we again successfully found and were so excited... didn't watch one, but we found it anyway

* Handed out food bags to the homeless we passed

* Prayed for the homeless that we passed

* Shopped a bit

* Reached the end of a road and saw avid India fans celebrating the coming Cricket World Cup game

* Watched Amber run into the middle of traffic to wave flags with them...

* Sighed in relief when she came back unharmed.

* Split from the guys to go hang out with just the girls

* Wondered around, tried to get our faces painted with Indian colors, but settled on shouting "INDIA!" at every passing fan that we saw

* Found a shop that did piercings... the sign on the door said "turn oww into wow" with the O's indicated with smiley face stickers

* Met the young Indian woman, who was really nice, inside

* She assured us that if we got any piercing "you look nice, it look nice"

* We all fretted about doing something, so she gave us free chai which sealed the deal

* So... all together we collectively received five ear piercings for about 5 bucks and I still can't sleep on the left side of my head... but "it look nice"

* Met the boys to eat cheese garlic naan and have a coke while watching a game I'll never understand

* Got tired of that, walked around some more and waited for the boys as they settled the bill that was wrong for like an hour and a half

* Started to go home around 8... 8 o'clock

* Rickshaw took us to the wrong bus station... full of people, beggars, sellers, and police that never help or know where our bus is

* Met a nice old guy and just talked for a bit while the guys wandered amongst the fifty plus buses to find ours

* Gave up

* Tried to get a very expensive taxi

* Gave up

* Started laughing a lot at our very lost state... almost 10 by then

* Still screamed at every passing fan because India was winning... cricket lasts for about 8 hours

* Walked and walked... to where, I am not sure... still laughing because curfew is at 10

* Found two rickshaws willing to take us home

* Drove for probably 2 hours home stopping every five minutes to ask for directions

* Got out during one of these times to find out that India won and danced with locals in the street while drivers tried to figure out where we were

* 12 AM-finally made it home and were charged more for the trip because we were so lost...

* World Race... to be honest this is a typical day... seriously...why it's called an off day, I'll never know...

Uganda Top Ten

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

1- Those big sick birds that fly around Kampla... being able to see one poop on JD.

2- This country contains all of the good singers... seriously... I found them.

3- Boda-bodas!

4- Rafting the Nile! Legit!

5- My iPod is forever gone... it's sad, but I'm surviving.

6- Singing "Joy, joy, joy, joy... down in my heart" as a Sunday morning special.

7- Leading my team through the last month of Africa.

8- Seeing people saved and healed because of the words that God speaks through my own mouth.

9- After one month in Asia and three full months in Africa, I have finally mastered the squatty... I actually can say that it is totally not a big deal and sort of normal now.

10- Struggling through soooo much, but coming out on the other side...

... So Africa is over now and wow... I am actually in India as I am writting this. After two looooong days of travel and no sleep, I am here and I am ready for something new. I am ready for God, and excited for what He will speak in me and through me this month! Please be in prayer that I would be open to whatever God has for me during this time and that "The Q" will walk into just fresh new revelation this month!

What's In A Name?

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

    Yesterday I had a theme going and I wanted to just share I guess, because maybe it is significant. After having the morning off and getting sentimental on my last blog, I went to a meeting with the rest of my team about a graduation that is happening this weekend that we get to be a part of. There was a woman there, Mrs. Forestine, who was the director of the bible college that we were assisting in graduation. She is originally from Arkansas, so the American in the room was more than exciting and comforting. I will probably individually hug every American when I return... just kidding... well, maybe not. She talked a bit and then, being a strong, spirit-filled woman decided she wanted to pray over all of us individually.
   I was immediately excited about this, because after constantly ministering all of the time and pouring out everything that I have, the thought of being ministered to was awesome. She prayed for me first and spoke something of "a word" over me. She spoke a lot about my name, and here is where I get to the theme. I know that my name comes from the word "laurel" which is actually a plant. This plant was used back in the day (gladiator times I think) to be woven and crown the victors. She talked about the victory that I live for and the freedom that is going to be so drastic in me that I would no longer be recognized when I experience it.
   I already knew this about my name... but victory is something that I want so badly. I feel like if she would have said this 7 months ago that visions of real freedom and victory would not have meant as much as they do now. Later, I had to go with Jared to the Indian embassy to get VISAS in Kampala, and of course after the taxi, we had to hop on a boda-boda. After getting on, I quickly became acquainted with my driver-Frank. He told me that he was a "born again" and loved God. I told him my name and he paused there and told me that my name was powerful and that it was a beautiful name. I thought that was interesting, I guess because Africans usually can't understand my name or even pronounce it.
   After success at the embassy, we went to the internet since we were in town anyway. I sat down after Jared told me what he wanted and ordered for both of us, because he needed to go the bathroom. A few minutes passed, and Jared was taking a while if I'm being honest. Finally, he walked up and sat down with a huge smile on his face and told me that we had a new brother in Christ named Alex that gave his life to Jesus in the bathroom. Later Alex came, Jared bought him a drink, and we learned that his parents died and that he lived with his sister and worked 6-6 everyday to make a living.

At one point, Jared walked away to pay, and I talked to Alex... what did he say? He of course talked about my name and how beautiful it was. He pronounced it correctly despite his less than perfect English... I say all of this I guess to say that I heard my name yesterday... I heard it for what felt like the first time. I come up with a word each month that describes what I am going through and this month has been "struggle" while last month was "insecurity." Negative, I know, but I believe that God used three people to remind me yesterday of who I am, or will be. I am not where I am going yet, I'm on a path, but I know that if I want it, I can have freedom, I can have victory. One day, somewhere, sometime, I will still be Laura, but you won't be able to recognize me beyond the name.

The Fam

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Yeah... so I decided to write a blog that is not about me and what I am doing haha! World Race is teaching me to be oh so unselfish... anyway. I am currently sitting in a small room with a couple of bunk beds and a load of World Race luggage. I just took a bucket shower and the breeze is blowing through the window all to the sound of Hey Jude by the Beatles... by the way, my iPod is completely done... it won't even turn on, but luckily I have some good friends that bought me an iPod touch before the race, so I have a little room for some tunes that I can't live without. This month, because everyone is on the verge of burnout exhaustion, we all decided to take an individual day off, and this is mine... back to this blog NOT being about me...

I guess, because I am small bit homesick this month, I wanted to write about my family. After all, they are my whole life and I wanted to at least let my readers know who they are. I want to take these few sentences also to say that even though this blog is mainly about my immediate family, I have the most loving, caring, most selfless, hard-working, hilarious, fun family that exists, so Finleys, Richards, Claytons, Baldridges, Ryfuns, Wallaces, Carts, LeBlancs, and Eldelmans-this line is for you! Don't hate me if I forgot you...if you are in my family, know that I love you...

So, here we go. I will first tell of the ones that have been there from the beginning... they've seen it all, the good, the bad and all the ugly. Happy 25^{th anniversary by the way. Yes, I'm talking about Tod and Melanie Finley... my parents. I have been absolutely blessed to have the best parents that you could dream up. I have seen so much in my life and on this trip that has shown me how completely blessed I am to have not only both of my parents, but that they are so wonderful as well.}

My daddy is like Superman when it comes to life, even though he would never tell you that. He has a big deal, hard, hospital career that he loves, but other than that, he is a pastor, a musician, a writer, a visionary, a friend to so many, a youth leader, a counselor,music teacher ;), and anything else you need him to be. I cannot recall ever a time when my dad has said no to someone who needs him. He has taught me more than I can explain about respecting and loving everyone that I meet no matter who they are, what they look like, or what their story is. Don't let him fool you, he is pretty legit if I'm being honest. I love you, daddy.

So now for the lady of the house... my mom. Again, one of the hardest workers alive. My mom is a nurse, a women's leader, a CPR instructor, a Mary Kay saleswoman, a wife, a sister, a friend, a daughter, and my mother. As far back as I can remember, my mom has been tirelessly seeing to the cares and needs of everyone, always giving, never expecting anything for herself. She takes even the smallest rewards and kind words to heart and appreciates even the smallest hints of gratitude. My mom doesn't overlook the lesser. To me, she is a shining example of what a Proverbs 31 woman is. Thanks mom, I don't feel like I have always said it, but you mean the world to me, and I wouldn't trade you for anyone else.

Ben!! My brother... wow, I'll try to keep this one in one paragraph... After all, I seriously have the best brother that I could ever imagine. He is in college, 19 years old, awesome at every sport imaginable, and the best musician that I know personally (I know I am a bit biased, but he really is that good). We made a pact before the race that we wouldn't cut our hair until we see each other again and at month seven, he is ready for dreads, and my hair is disgusting without a drop of conditioner in sight. Ben, through everything, I know that you are my brother, my shoulder to cry on, my blood haha, my night-time drive with good music buddy, my secret keeper, my strong place, my inspiration, and my best friend. I seriously could go on and on about this kid, but he knows I love him and miss him more than I am willing to talk about, because I am in tears right now and I need to move on. I love you, bub.

Last but certainly not least, Sophie... or "Soap on a Rope" as I so affectionately refer to her as. Yes, she is my sister, the little one... she's nine and the most confident, beautiful, strong nine year old that I know. To be honest, she may be one to thank for actually doing this whole thing. On some days, she was the most encouragement that I received from anyone. Sophie, I know that you are young, but know that I love you with everything that I have. I remember when you were a baby, but I don't see a baby anymore. God has so much for you, my love. You are a powerhouse, and by that I mean that you are going to do so much in your lifetime... so much good. I believe that you are going to sing better than me one day haha. You are going to change so many lives... I love you, my rose.

Wow... if that wasn't the sappiest thing I have ever written, than I don't know what else you want. Sorry for the tears mom... I really do love you guys and just wanted to remind you that even though I am on the other side of the world, you are my everything... besides Jesus of course... love you.